Equality

I want to talk a little bit about true love. True love is not a dictatorship. There is no "upper hand" or "checkmate." Love should be revolved around equality. Both lovers should have equal power. Neither one should feel like he/she is vulnerable. If love is your intention, then you shouldn't focus on having your lady or man in "check." Nor, should you keep yourself closed. You have to trust and open up to one another. Most of all, you have to appreciate all the little and big things your partner does for you and not take it for granted.

You never showed me that you appreciated anything I did for you. "You treated me like shit." I went against what everyone said. Still, I definitely don't regret one thing.

Hope for the best but Expect the worst

I'm actually happy even thought things between us are at a pause. My mind is set into two different directions. Each decision having it's pro's and cons. I think I finally know why I want to stay. It's because I said I'll always be there for you and I want to keep my word. I'm probably going to venture through these rough roads again. For you, for me, for us. Whatever the outcome, I'll know that I persisted for the best of us.

Rusty

I served my last detention today! Let's hope that I keep it that way. I've been feeling pretty great lately. Although I feel just a tad sick, I feel rejuvenated. Maybe it's cause I've been getting more sleep due to the STAR testing schedule. Today, I sparred for the first time in a long time. It wasn't anything crazy, just a nice light spar with Jay. After that we decided to have a small rumble with the four of us. It was fun but tiring haha. Too much running around. My skills are really rusty and I'm scarred to get hit and my reflexes are a slow. =[Well, I got a good feel of it again today. Feels good. =]

I Still Love You

I feel like I managed my time well today. I went to the library after school to get help with geometry from Kimberly. Even though I didn't get much done, at least I didn't just sit on my ass and do nothing. lol. After that, I went home and finally resumed my P90x program. I feel great right now. haha. I need to work on my verbal fighting skills haha. Somehow, trouble really does follow me. I hate trying to be mature but I guess in the end it's worth it.

By the way everybody, start washing your hands frequently and consume a lot of Vitamin C because an epidemic is spreading fast. The swine flu is potentially deadly and is starting to break out. So gear up with Oranges and and hand sanitizer everybody!

Failing

Sometimes you can gain more from failing or losing. Or many lost or failures. It just depends on what you choose to do with those unsuccessful trail. If you have failed many times, then you have just learned numerous things to NOT do to succeed. Every time you fail, you come back stronger, maturer, and wiser.
“A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure till he gives up.” ( Anonymous)

Thanks Tino for the whole talk. It was helpful.lol
Thank you Elaine. For coming out in the cold weather to hug me.
Thank you Kevin. For the crappiest fish n chips. Food network makes them look so much better.

Insomnia

It's like a thousand degrees and I'm sick. I didn't even know that was possible. I just felt hella out of it out today. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Fuck detention. I'm going to try to sleep earlier from now on. I hope I'm not just saying that haha. I think I keep overworking my body. Too much working out and so little sleep.

I got excited for a fight today for nothing. I feel bad for the other kid. Him and his group are so scrawny. The other "dude" ,who shall not be named, was rollin hella deep. Good luck homie.

Happy 4/20!

"roll roll roll a blunt
twist it at the ends
light it up and take some puffs and pass it to a friend!"

Happy 4/20! haha. I stayed sober today. The only thing I wanted to do was sit a refrigerator. I hate this weather. It's hot and humid. If I could, I would stab or shoot the heat. haha. At night me and the homeboyz went to some nearby apartments near the hood and we sneaked into the pool. That was the best part of my day. The water was so cool and refreshing. =]

No pain, no gain

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?" This is isn't me. I learned from the best and I know I shouldn't still be here. I'd be a hypocrite if I gave up now though. I know that we've argued constantly, left each other, and got mad at each other but every time we strive for that extra step, we become stronger. When you give up, you lose everything that you have worked so hard for. Everything that you have risked, struggled, and persisted for. NEVER GIVE UP.

Opposites Attract

We are two totally different people. Yet I feel like we're attracted like magnets. Your the opposite of what I look for in a girl. Yet, your the only girl that can make me feel this way right now. It's a natural high.

I never try to instigate a fight but somehow I always run into trouble. Why the fuck do people have to pretend to be so tough? What are you trying to prove? I always try to stay calm and be mature. I love the adrenaline rush though. haha. Fuck fake niggas.

Smooth

I haven't had time to blog so I'll just update everybody on the past two days.haha

TUESDAY

Blame it on the Henny, 151, Goose, some peach shit( which was very sweet), and some other sweet liquor. hahah. Lighting shots on fire and drinking them= fun. Acting like a dumbass= fun. Seeing three other people yack all over the place= not so fun lmao.

WEDNESDAY

It was pretty chill hanging out with you again today. It feels right. Anyways, at night the homiez and I went hiking at Alum Rock. Lmao. It was scary as fuck. Everything was pitch black and I kept feeling a presence behind me.

Destiny is not predetermined. Destiny is only short for destination and your desired destination is based on your decisions and course of actions. Your future is not planned out for you and the things in it are not the inevitable. It can be changed. Your destiny is not predetermined. It's determined by YOU.

No Homo

Everybody has got to watch this movie. Watch it with your significant other. Not three other guys and one girl. That's just completely gay. I mean who would do such a thing. Lmao

Step it up.

Happy Birthday Kasey! It seems like it was just yesterday when we rode our little bikes around (You couldn't even ride a bike properly.) haha. Good old days. I hope you have fun on your cruise and wish you many more years of good experiences and memories.
I love this spring weather. The sun is shining and there's a light breeze in the air. It's not to cold or too hot, it's just right. It's perfect weather to be outside and go and enjoy what nature has to offer. I can't wait to go downtown with Jazlyn and take pictures of everything.
I know you are going through a hard time right now but you are being way to ignorant. All you do is sit around soaking in your mistakes all day. That's not going to get you anywhere. You gotta stop thinking and start doing. I feel disrespected when you ignore my advice. As a homie I just want the best for you but you gotta step it up nigga. Shit, it's getting really pathetic nigga.

I used to do that for you.

Appreciate

Why is that we all tend to take our most valuable things in our lives for granted? We never truly appreciate what we have till it's gone. It's one of mankind's flaws if you ask me. It's a common mistake we all have done and regretted. We should all live our lives with a great appreciative attitude. Be more observant and notice the little things in life. You'll be more gratified by being more thankful for EVERYTHING. Not only will you benefit from it but also everything and everyone around you.

Beachbody!

I finally started my P90x program yesterday. The program ends just in time for summer so watch out ladies! Dam, Imma be a sexy mother fucker. I went to Costco yesterday too. I bought all this healthy food including protein shakes haha. Fucken Lvn. I've been sober since my birthday. Now I have to start all over again.
I've been pretty diligent lately. Balancing everything is pretty difficult especially when you got four fucken detentions.
I know I'm taking a big chance right now but I want to take time to reconsider my options so I can make the best decision. If I do choose to, I want to be 100 percent committed and dedicated.

Be like a lion because lions don't ask or wait. They just prance on that shit and take it.

Motivated

Set a goal and achieve that goal. Don't accept failures.

Stop thinking. Start doing.

Ambitious

Dam, it sucks trying to study for a test on the day of the test. My brain got a cramp from trying to feed all that information in at one time. Well, I'm finally starting to make the effort to get my shit together. Educationally wise at least. I'm failing every single class except for history haha. My mom was in a gracious mood today for some reason. Maybe it's cause I stayed home today and I haven't done so in awhile. She's supporting my new found interest in photography. I hope to save enough money to buy a DSLR camera soon. She also asked me if I wanted to join the gym again. I don't know if I want to though because I just got the whole P90x program! Finally, beach body here I come haha. Ladies going to be all over me. I might also join LA boxing because there allowing people to join for free for 90 days. Dam, I haven't boxed in awhile. I hope to compete in tournaments during the summer time. I can't wait to get my ass kicked. lmao

April 1

It's the first day of April. The weather is beautiful and the scenery is blooming. April's etymology comes from the Latin aperire, "to open." The Romans named April in honor of, Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. So the new month is here. New things are opening up and old things are coming to an end. There are millions of flowers blooming but there's still that one exotic flower that stands out from the rest. My mind is still wrapped around the present situation and figuring out what I want to do with it. Life is how you make it. You can shape and mold it anyway you want it to. It just depends on whether or not your willing to put effort towards the direction you want to go.