Life Goes On

I'm lost and confused. I don't know what to believe or do. I'm going to continue on my road. If I realize that I'm on the wrong road then I will make a U turn and go on a different road. Am I worried that I'm wrong and will regret painfully? Yes. Yes, I am.

As the years pass by, society gets more complex. There is about 6,785,929,590 people living on Earth. That's more than 6 billion minds out there thinking right now. Each, thinking of something different. No wonder people feel lost. What's right and what's wrong? There's more than a billion ideas colliding with each other. Everyone competes with each other trying to prove their way or idea. How do we know what road to follow? We don't. If we did, there would be no point in living. Thus, keep an open mind. Respect and keep all ideas into consideration. If you do make the wrong decision, than take a moment to grieve. Let it all out and then move on. Rome wasn't built in one day and neither will success.

Satisfaction

Have you ever heard of the saying on tv commercials, "Satisfaction guaranteed or you get your money back?" Well, the same applies to relationships. If you can't satisfy your partner then they'll want they're heart back or whatever they gave you. You have to be special to them. If you don't love them like how they want to be loved then your lacking satisfaction. Therefore, you're indifferent like all the rest. They may want you to be open minded, athletic, or smart. The list goes on and if you lack one of their needs then you got three options. Change, make up for it, or just leave. Guys are not meatheads. We have standards and needs. If you're ordinary like all the other girls then your're just like all the other girls. Ladies, if you want a guy, be EXTRAordinary.

Understood

Often, the less fortunate aspire in life more successfully then others. They are motivated by something so strong, that all the see is their goal. They're like a horse with blinders. They're immune to distractions around them, only able to see straight ahead at the finish line. Does this mean that you have to be less lucky to accomplish goals? No, it simply means that we just need the will to be successful. I've learned that there are many paths to success and that if you don't achieve at first then try again. It is never too late to get things right. The United Kingdoms past prime minister, Winston Churchill, once said ,"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." Thanks for everybody's care especially my parents. You guys are all annoying as hell but I understand what I need to do. Plus the margaritas help too haha.

School -___-

Volleyball. Boxing. Movies. Fishing. Killed a shark. Buffet. Natural herbs. Blame it on the alcohol. Adventures. Camping. Romance. Bike Party! All nighters. And so much more. Summer was spontaneous and fun. I spent it with the people I care about most. I only wish that summer was longer.=[

School was confusing haha. Inhaled some relaxing fumes in the morning so school was interesting. People are funny as hell hahha. I'm determined to do good in school this year. It's getting late and I don't have much else to say so goodnight and happy new school year lmao.

Summer Rain

It rained in the morning today. How weird haha. I watched a show today about mans quest for immortality. " The minute we're born, we start to die. Every breath, every heart beat, it's one step closer to death." Has the impossible finally become possible though? One guy said that we could eventually live to be 1,000 years old by 2060! Is mankind finally going to be able to cheat death? As much as I fear death, I think cheating it would mess up everything. Everyone's fear is death and eventually it will get us. Live your life to the fullest. It's that simple. Don't regret any second of your life because you'll never get a restart button in reality. Besides, even if we're able to live to become one thousand, why would you waste any second of your life? Enjoy lifes wonderful pleasures, succeed your goals, and build long lasting relationships with people. Just get up and Do it.

Broken

Without struggle, you can never become stronger. Without mistakes, you will never learn. Why must some people go through life just trying to survive while others become so ignorant as to take everything for granted? The world has become so tainted with violent wars, most driven by the greed for money. Although I'm a Catholic, I'm still skeptical about everything. The most frequent question that runs through my mind is: Where is God? Oh and btw, Fuck the govt. Fuck the police. Fuck them all.

Simple Yet Hard

Everyone has dreams. Everyone wishes to be something. Some people want to be in the NFL wihle some want to be a professional dancer. As for me, I want to be a professional MMA fighter. I don't know if I want to become one without a doubt yet but this is something I've admired for quite awhile. I love meeting new ispirational and interesting people. Today, I met a couple of guys from a professional dance group called "Head Hunters." I'm glad I went with Hao and Kevin to check out that Trueno. Dedication, hardwork, and perserverance. In the end, it all comes down to one question. How bad do you want it? You always have to be ready to pay with hardwork in order to achieve your goal. No matter how big or how far your objective is, if you truly are passionate about it, then you will eventually succeed.

I also learned one of lifes secrets to happiness. It's to live life with simplicity. Think about it lol.

illuminate

The world is filled with many beauties and pleasures and with only one life to live, it's hard to experience everything Earth has to offer. I don't want to just live my life like a routine, I want to explore every single thing. I'm very open to new opportunities and I just hope I'll be able to make every minute of my life count.

Sadly, everybody living in U.S missed out on a total eclipse today. The eclipse was mostly only visible in India, Asian, and around the Pacific Ocean. It is said that today was the longest total eclipse in the 21st century, lasting for about 6 minutes. Argh, missed out.

Man vs Food

I lived one of my dreams today. After inhaling magical fumes, I went to hometown buffet! Omg , endless food. Yum. Good way to get rid of those munchies haha. Anyways, Happy Birthday Andrew!

Breezy

Santa Cruz has such a great environment. Everyone is friendly and happy. The weather's warm and sunny with slight cool breezes coming from the ocean. After checking out the cuties in Santa Cruz, I went back to San Jo to chill with my homiez at the park once again. haha Ended the night, chillin at The Perks.

Did you know animal agriculture is a leading cause for global warming? It could even be a bigger contributor than transportation. Although it's bad, I don't know if I could live without meat haha. How far would people go for money though? I mean people will abuse animals,trees, and all the free things given to us in order to be rich. They don't care what they hurt in the process. They just want the money. I wish money wasn't a problem in this world. Money consumes most of our life. It's also what people die over. If only the world was simplier.

July 4th

God bless America! haha. July 4th should be a day we should all take to embrace our freedom in America. A lot of the rights and privileges we obtain as an American shouldn't be taken for granted. I still think this country has it's flaws though-__-. Anywas, I spent this 4th of July crawfishing, block,party, and a little night cruise. The crawfish weren't biting though. I think they're getting smarter. They keep stealing my chicken! Oh, yea! Guess what? I saw a dog get ran over twice in front of my face. Damn, that was sad. It's good to have nice close nieghbors. Imma run this block! haha Me and the guys just pulled some chairs from the party and kicked back in front of their house. It was chill just watching fire works right in front of you flying everywhere.

Unfortunate Souls

As I was cutting my tree today, I had and idea. Why not make a T P with all the branches? haha That's a new goal for this summer. Today was a pretty chill day. It was filled with kung fu fighting with my lil brother and craw fishing with the homiez. I hope god forgives us for torturing those lil crawfishes. I feeel sooo bad haha. I just wanted to eat them, not torture them. sigh* lmao

I probably know what's bests for me right now but I don't want to go for it and fuck it up. I know it's stupid to look for something that's already in front of you but I don't know why I keep doing it.

Twisted.

Man, alcohol can bring the best in us sometimes! Unfortunately, it can also bring the worst out the worst in us. What a crazy night haha. Blame it on the alcohol?

Paranoid

Hood's on lock down. haha

Autobots

Transformers 2 was insanely awesome. Oh yea, everybody meet my new gf. Megan Fox! <3

Oh hot dam!

The weather today sucked! It was scorching hot plus it was humid. Fuckk.

- layed down on the back of a pick up truck
- got kicked out of a swimming pool
- went to a different swimming pool
- met two chicks in hopes of branching out haha
- napped
- went to the movies
- decided not to watch a movie
- went to the park
- flew around like monkeys on marijuana at the park

Not bad of a day haha

Wilderness

It was quite a trip. I went on a last minute camping trip on Wednesday night till Friday morning. It was literally last minute too! Colin was just like, ey we're going camping and I just went along with it. Lol dam. We drove an extra 2-3 hours because we misread a sign. We pulled an all nighter on the first night. I saw the sky turn from pitch black to sky blue while I ate my cup of noodles on a fence that had a view of the lake. I like the early morning. All you hear are the birds singing. There wasn't enough food to make you full but it was enough to survive. Ai ya. Plenty of brews and blunts. I wanted to attempt swimming across the slimy lake but after hitting reality, I realized I was physically incapable of that. Swimming across a lake is going to be one of my life goals. All this camping stuff really makes you think about all the basic utilities and blessings you take for granted. This is a good trip to remember. And now after a long shower and freshning up, I'm glad to be home and be able to lay in my warm comfy bed instead of rocky cold ground. =]

Heat Waves

The weather was quite nice till about two days ago. Now, it's starting to simmer up. Summer has not been that bad lately. I just wish I could have got into summer school. Fucken budget cuts. Well anyways, my whole summer so far has been filled with Cloud 9, tear dropping laughs, refreshing drinks, novice poker, intense xbox 360, and good times with my family and homiez.

"I got my mind on my money, my money on my mind" That's how it is now. I wish money just grew on trees, that way nobody would have to struggle through life.

Realized

Wtf am I looking for?

Fucked up

I never learn my lesson until the consequences happen. It's all fun and games until you get caught up. You guys are like family. I know we fucked up and I know we can't do much but we're ready to be responsible on our behalf and try to make things better. I speak for all of us when I say thank you for all the shit you guys have done for us. Thank you, we really do appreciate it.

It's the little things that really add up. You were right.

I Told You So

".....If there are hard times it seems,
But you ain't gettin no sympathy,
No baby not from me,
Cause I told you you should never leave.
See you chose this road
So you gotta go it alone
Remember I told you so......"

Maybe you never looked at my point of view. No guy will ever put in so much effort nor will they do all that stuff for you. It's to bad you could not have realized it sooner because my heart isn't going to let me come back to you.

(May 21, 2009)- Thank you. But, I'm sorry.... I Told You So.

Oblivious

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Every so often, we make someone or something our everything. All our energy is focused on just one direction that we forget to look around. Sometimes it's not even worth it and often we'll overlook the many possibilities that are thrown at us. Just take a look around. You'll see.

All Nighter

Went to a wack ass picnic in blazing hot weather. No food and I didn't find what I was looking for. Walked to the library to escape the hot weather. Cooled down and then went to Elvis's birthday kickback. Good vibe and body heat. Went home in the back of a pickup. La Migra! haha. Drove down to Santa Cruz. Bonfire. Puff, Puff. Sip, Sip. Shooting stars, crashing waves, soft grains of sand, the beach was really captivating.

Coincidently, I relived part of our past today. That party was where we first ventured. I also went to the beach where we spent out last days. What a coincidence haha. It was nice but the past is the past. It's over.

The Law

When am I going to learn my lesson. I felt hella disappointed in myself. Man I do pretty stupid shit.Oh wells, just another lesson in my life. haha.

Pain

Today was like pain day for me. I whacked myself in the balls and I fell twice on my bike! Fackkk. I'm so glad I wore a helmet. If I didn't I probably would have lost my front teeth. My whole body is in agony. I have cuts everywhere but hey, "You only got one life to live." I'll post up a video of my fall tomorrow lmao.

Spinning

Today was just a chill day. I helped out this cholo today too. Apparently, him and one of his girls got into an arguement and she made him walk home. Hella fucked up. I let him borrow my phone and he gave me a nice little gift afterwards for being "cool." haha What a nice guy. The carnival was pretty chill too. Gawd, I still feel hella nauseous from that zipper ride. Fucken Chau is a screamer. lmao.

I'm sorry I was such a jerk. Maybe one day I'll explain and contradict your accusation.

Good Ass Friday

Today was an extremely good day. I've been looking forward to this weekend and so far it's pretty cool. I haven't had a day like this with my home boyz in awhile. School was pretty chill. The only downside was when there wasn't enough time for me to go try the pull ups for the marines corp thingy. After school, I took a nice nap and went out to go bmx. I think I'm starting to get back into bmx again. The dirt jumps are fresh and rebuilt and they scared the hell out of me but I still tried them. I'm glad I did too. The adrenaline was pumping quickly through my veins and I was just praying to God that I'd be in one piece after that 5 foot gap( approximately) haha. Landed it smoothly and cleanly. I love the feeling I get for that slit second I defy the laws of gravity. Nothing on my mind. Just me and the air. I love it. The mixer was pretty fun. I mean there were it's pros and cons but I had a great time. Sick ass rumble too. Man the ladies were.....WOW. Damn so much boootyyy. Eric is very happy. lmao =] Today couldn't get any better. =]

Postman

If mailmen deliver mail to us, who delivers their mail? lol

Wrap Your Tools Niggaaaa

"90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom."

40 ounce with the homiez

No matter how hard you try to make a relationship work, if your the only one trying, than it's not going to work. It takes two persevering people to have a successful relationship. Not just one persevering individual. I've tried everything and yet you still feel vulnerable with me. You have extremely disappointed me. I don't want to deal with this anymore. Fuck it.

Bitch

Fuck you. I'm filled with so much disappointment and rage. Now, my knuckle is bruised.

Equality

I want to talk a little bit about true love. True love is not a dictatorship. There is no "upper hand" or "checkmate." Love should be revolved around equality. Both lovers should have equal power. Neither one should feel like he/she is vulnerable. If love is your intention, then you shouldn't focus on having your lady or man in "check." Nor, should you keep yourself closed. You have to trust and open up to one another. Most of all, you have to appreciate all the little and big things your partner does for you and not take it for granted.

You never showed me that you appreciated anything I did for you. "You treated me like shit." I went against what everyone said. Still, I definitely don't regret one thing.

Hope for the best but Expect the worst

I'm actually happy even thought things between us are at a pause. My mind is set into two different directions. Each decision having it's pro's and cons. I think I finally know why I want to stay. It's because I said I'll always be there for you and I want to keep my word. I'm probably going to venture through these rough roads again. For you, for me, for us. Whatever the outcome, I'll know that I persisted for the best of us.

Rusty

I served my last detention today! Let's hope that I keep it that way. I've been feeling pretty great lately. Although I feel just a tad sick, I feel rejuvenated. Maybe it's cause I've been getting more sleep due to the STAR testing schedule. Today, I sparred for the first time in a long time. It wasn't anything crazy, just a nice light spar with Jay. After that we decided to have a small rumble with the four of us. It was fun but tiring haha. Too much running around. My skills are really rusty and I'm scarred to get hit and my reflexes are a slow. =[Well, I got a good feel of it again today. Feels good. =]

I Still Love You

I feel like I managed my time well today. I went to the library after school to get help with geometry from Kimberly. Even though I didn't get much done, at least I didn't just sit on my ass and do nothing. lol. After that, I went home and finally resumed my P90x program. I feel great right now. haha. I need to work on my verbal fighting skills haha. Somehow, trouble really does follow me. I hate trying to be mature but I guess in the end it's worth it.

By the way everybody, start washing your hands frequently and consume a lot of Vitamin C because an epidemic is spreading fast. The swine flu is potentially deadly and is starting to break out. So gear up with Oranges and and hand sanitizer everybody!

Failing

Sometimes you can gain more from failing or losing. Or many lost or failures. It just depends on what you choose to do with those unsuccessful trail. If you have failed many times, then you have just learned numerous things to NOT do to succeed. Every time you fail, you come back stronger, maturer, and wiser.
“A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure till he gives up.” ( Anonymous)

Thanks Tino for the whole talk. It was helpful.lol
Thank you Elaine. For coming out in the cold weather to hug me.
Thank you Kevin. For the crappiest fish n chips. Food network makes them look so much better.

Insomnia

It's like a thousand degrees and I'm sick. I didn't even know that was possible. I just felt hella out of it out today. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Fuck detention. I'm going to try to sleep earlier from now on. I hope I'm not just saying that haha. I think I keep overworking my body. Too much working out and so little sleep.

I got excited for a fight today for nothing. I feel bad for the other kid. Him and his group are so scrawny. The other "dude" ,who shall not be named, was rollin hella deep. Good luck homie.

Happy 4/20!

"roll roll roll a blunt
twist it at the ends
light it up and take some puffs and pass it to a friend!"

Happy 4/20! haha. I stayed sober today. The only thing I wanted to do was sit a refrigerator. I hate this weather. It's hot and humid. If I could, I would stab or shoot the heat. haha. At night me and the homeboyz went to some nearby apartments near the hood and we sneaked into the pool. That was the best part of my day. The water was so cool and refreshing. =]

No pain, no gain

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?" This is isn't me. I learned from the best and I know I shouldn't still be here. I'd be a hypocrite if I gave up now though. I know that we've argued constantly, left each other, and got mad at each other but every time we strive for that extra step, we become stronger. When you give up, you lose everything that you have worked so hard for. Everything that you have risked, struggled, and persisted for. NEVER GIVE UP.

Opposites Attract

We are two totally different people. Yet I feel like we're attracted like magnets. Your the opposite of what I look for in a girl. Yet, your the only girl that can make me feel this way right now. It's a natural high.

I never try to instigate a fight but somehow I always run into trouble. Why the fuck do people have to pretend to be so tough? What are you trying to prove? I always try to stay calm and be mature. I love the adrenaline rush though. haha. Fuck fake niggas.

Smooth

I haven't had time to blog so I'll just update everybody on the past two days.haha

TUESDAY

Blame it on the Henny, 151, Goose, some peach shit( which was very sweet), and some other sweet liquor. hahah. Lighting shots on fire and drinking them= fun. Acting like a dumbass= fun. Seeing three other people yack all over the place= not so fun lmao.

WEDNESDAY

It was pretty chill hanging out with you again today. It feels right. Anyways, at night the homiez and I went hiking at Alum Rock. Lmao. It was scary as fuck. Everything was pitch black and I kept feeling a presence behind me.

Destiny is not predetermined. Destiny is only short for destination and your desired destination is based on your decisions and course of actions. Your future is not planned out for you and the things in it are not the inevitable. It can be changed. Your destiny is not predetermined. It's determined by YOU.

No Homo

Everybody has got to watch this movie. Watch it with your significant other. Not three other guys and one girl. That's just completely gay. I mean who would do such a thing. Lmao

Step it up.

Happy Birthday Kasey! It seems like it was just yesterday when we rode our little bikes around (You couldn't even ride a bike properly.) haha. Good old days. I hope you have fun on your cruise and wish you many more years of good experiences and memories.
I love this spring weather. The sun is shining and there's a light breeze in the air. It's not to cold or too hot, it's just right. It's perfect weather to be outside and go and enjoy what nature has to offer. I can't wait to go downtown with Jazlyn and take pictures of everything.
I know you are going through a hard time right now but you are being way to ignorant. All you do is sit around soaking in your mistakes all day. That's not going to get you anywhere. You gotta stop thinking and start doing. I feel disrespected when you ignore my advice. As a homie I just want the best for you but you gotta step it up nigga. Shit, it's getting really pathetic nigga.

I used to do that for you.

Appreciate

Why is that we all tend to take our most valuable things in our lives for granted? We never truly appreciate what we have till it's gone. It's one of mankind's flaws if you ask me. It's a common mistake we all have done and regretted. We should all live our lives with a great appreciative attitude. Be more observant and notice the little things in life. You'll be more gratified by being more thankful for EVERYTHING. Not only will you benefit from it but also everything and everyone around you.

Beachbody!

I finally started my P90x program yesterday. The program ends just in time for summer so watch out ladies! Dam, Imma be a sexy mother fucker. I went to Costco yesterday too. I bought all this healthy food including protein shakes haha. Fucken Lvn. I've been sober since my birthday. Now I have to start all over again.
I've been pretty diligent lately. Balancing everything is pretty difficult especially when you got four fucken detentions.
I know I'm taking a big chance right now but I want to take time to reconsider my options so I can make the best decision. If I do choose to, I want to be 100 percent committed and dedicated.

Be like a lion because lions don't ask or wait. They just prance on that shit and take it.

Motivated

Set a goal and achieve that goal. Don't accept failures.

Stop thinking. Start doing.

Ambitious

Dam, it sucks trying to study for a test on the day of the test. My brain got a cramp from trying to feed all that information in at one time. Well, I'm finally starting to make the effort to get my shit together. Educationally wise at least. I'm failing every single class except for history haha. My mom was in a gracious mood today for some reason. Maybe it's cause I stayed home today and I haven't done so in awhile. She's supporting my new found interest in photography. I hope to save enough money to buy a DSLR camera soon. She also asked me if I wanted to join the gym again. I don't know if I want to though because I just got the whole P90x program! Finally, beach body here I come haha. Ladies going to be all over me. I might also join LA boxing because there allowing people to join for free for 90 days. Dam, I haven't boxed in awhile. I hope to compete in tournaments during the summer time. I can't wait to get my ass kicked. lmao

April 1

It's the first day of April. The weather is beautiful and the scenery is blooming. April's etymology comes from the Latin aperire, "to open." The Romans named April in honor of, Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. So the new month is here. New things are opening up and old things are coming to an end. There are millions of flowers blooming but there's still that one exotic flower that stands out from the rest. My mind is still wrapped around the present situation and figuring out what I want to do with it. Life is how you make it. You can shape and mold it anyway you want it to. It just depends on whether or not your willing to put effort towards the direction you want to go.

For now

So I've finally decided to make a blog. The idea of having a blog is still pretty gay to me but fuck it lol. Out of all the days and all the problems we have encountered, it ends now. It's confusing actually. I don't know what to feel or what to do. Over the past couple months, we've been jumping over so many hurdles. We've adapted and overcame. Why end it now? Idk. Well, now I know how it felt. I never meant to jeopardize our relationship and I'm sorry for ever risking that. I would actually like to continue this in the future. I always enjoy learning from our mistakes and experiencing new things with you. Your always a blast to be around and you are an amazing girl. This is not ever yet and I'm hoping it'll just be another chapter to our story. I just wish that I could have been better for you. But I also wish you could see things from my point of view. I always mean to do the best for you. I'm starting to realize I'm not ready for a relationship. I'd really love for us to stay close friends and to continue talking and hanging out as usual. I hope that wouldn't be too much to ask for. Anyways, now I can finally focus on my goals and interest without being distracted. I can also get back to being the old eric. The one who couldn't keep his hands off other girls. lmao jk But ladies, feel free to comfort me at anytime ;]
Today was a tiring but fun day. After a couple months, I've finally decided to fix my bike. I even paid for both of my tubes. After I met up with the guys, we started to ride all the way to the skate park. I bought green juice along the way at Lee Sandwiches. That shit taste like SHIT. I can't believe green juice would look appetizing to me. It looked hella good but it didn't taste good. The stupid thing is, I asked the people that work there what the juice is after I opened it up and drank it. I should have asked before dammit. Riding at the park was thrilling. I like the adrenaline rush. My tube popped again though but luckily this nice biker was willing to sell a spare to me. Riding home was pretty cool too except it was very cold. I hope I don't get sick again. Well that pretty much was how my day went.